I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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