She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
