Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
