windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
