my mouth tastes like poor choices
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
