She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
