JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize