Pants 0. Shit 1.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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