Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
