The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
