Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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