someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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