just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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