butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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