I will die if light touches me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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