you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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