yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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