didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
