i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
