You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
