i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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