I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he fucked my hip out of place.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I want her autograph on my taint
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You need Xanax blowdarts
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
