i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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