Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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