we're chasing vodka with high fives
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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