Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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