you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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