You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
