i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
