yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
