i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
