YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
