Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
