My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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