If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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