Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
not ubering you a puppy
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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