her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
