Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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