dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
