Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
