i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
