Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
