it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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