just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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