why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
