you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
