To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
