u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
