He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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