he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
i think my cat just said my name.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
