i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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