you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
