in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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