I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
