I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
