I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
