i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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