So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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