Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
