i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
