you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
